Wednesday, June 13, 2001

There Are No Vampires In Finland<br><font size=-2>Or Why No One Ever Heard Of Bela Ruotsi</font>



Tonight's revelation. Kelly and I were seeing how lightly we could bite each other. After a little nibble, the following conversation took place:





Kelly: That was a light bite. I almost tasted blood!





Me: See these teeth? They have holes in the end, so when I bite you I can suck blood through them like a straw.





Kelly: Really?





Me: Sure. I'm a vampire.





Kelly: Nuh-UH. You have blue eyes, and vampires don't have blue eyes.





Me [thinking a moment, then]: Well, my ancestry is from Finland. Are you saying there are no vampires in Finland?





Kelly: That's right. No vampires are in Finland. They don't like it there.





Me: But wait a minute. Vampires hate sunlight. That's why they only come out at night. It's cloudy all the time in Finland, so vampires must love it there!





Kelly: Vampires don't like the dark. They come out in the dark to sneak up on people. So it has to be a little dark. But if it gets too dark, they trip. So vampires hate Finland, 'cause it's too dark.



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